January - 1st Check-In
Well, January is just about halfway through. I know everyone says they can’t believe it, but I really can’t! I have had some people ask ‘why?’ when they hear that I am participating in dry January, and because this year is all about going outside my comfort zone, I will share the why here!
Years before I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression, I was very out of touch with my emotions. I would either put on ‘the mask’ to get through things I was uncomfortable with (pretend everything is perfect and I am not freaking out inside) or, in a social situation, I would lean on alcohol to help make me comfortable. Over the years, I put myself in situations where I would never be sober. This led to some unsafe decisions; thankfully, none had catastrophic consequences. But I did wake up, and I began therapy. This process helped me realize I didn’t need to rely on alcohol to make me comfortable. I’ve wanted to participate in dry January for a few years, but I have just been too anxious to do this and remove my small and optional safety blanket. So here I am, halfway through January, with a few realizations!
The first is how thankful I am for Christian’s participation in dry January with me. The real reason I added this to the list for 2023 was that I have a hard time when I think people will disagree or tease me about a decision I am making. This makes me very anxious, and again, I am so thankful to have such a supportive partner to begin this journey with me!
I never realized how often, when in a social situation, we are made to think about drinking. When I am Spending time with family and friends or going out to dinner, there has been no pressure to drink yet, and it has all been within my mind!
Sometimes I ‘miss’ having a Hamm’s or Bloody Mary (my two favorite Sunday Funday beverages). For example, while watching the MN Wild or Vikings, for example.
I have not been in a social situation with my peers while participating in dry January. This weekend, I will have that opportunity. To say I am nervous would be underselling it. I’m sure it will go smoothly, and all will be well! I will check in and share any updates/realizations through the remaining weeks of January.
XO
Mariah
